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It's becoming rare to see the reverse." This all started because I was referencing a conversation we'd had when I was pregnant with our son. You wouldn't want him to have coarse hair if you could help it. If you think I'm wrong, listen to your music and get back to me. My boyfriend had said lightheartedly, "I hope our son has my hair." My boyfriend has beautiful, soft curls, a genetic gift from both his races. It would be easier to manage if his hair was curly was all I'm saying." The rational part of me thought about what he was trying to say, but no matter how much I replayed it, it still didn't sound right to me. Everywhere from pop culture to the hood, men are either consciously or subconsciously telling black women they aren't "wanted." I have seen black man not even look twice at black women whom I see as beautiful, yet I've seen them break their necks for decent-looking -- dare I say unattractive -- women of other races. Granted, I think everyone is entitled to a personal preference regarding whom they like. It kind of parallels the plight of the poor gay friend that ends up enduring tons of horrible blind dates just because of an oversimplification of dating dynamics by his well-meaning straight friends who know "that other gay friend".

Black men are viewed as sexy and, in a sense, a 'trophy' for another race, but black women are never deemed the most attractive. It seems these women have been conditioned to think they're not worthy if they're "just black." These statements below are the most common things I hear about why black men don't like black women: "Black women have too much attitude/ghetto." Before I met my boyfriend's mother in person, she thought I was white. From the way I spoke on the phone to the way I "act," I have been dubbed the "whitest black girl" everywhere from my hometown to a city close to the Canadian border (Syracuse, get an attitude over normal things, like any woman would. Vanessa Williams (who, by the way, is fully black; people get off on thinking very attractive black women are mixed). Analysis of census data and other figures has debunked much of the misinformation floating around in the media about the black marriage rate.The barrage of news reports about the black marriage rate gives the impression that African-American women’s chances of walking down the aisle are bleak.They look at me like I'm a criminal." In a sense, I might not. ) I have many black friends who would prefer to not be confrontational and would rather pretend an event never happened than address it. But I thought in my head, "At least black women black men. He said, "Courtney, I see you struggle with your hair, and I think it would be nice if he had my curly hair. Most of my friends are educated --more educated than their significant others -- and grew up in families from middle- to upper-class backgrounds. "Black women are unattractive." I'm going to leave out Beyoncé and Rihanna, because duh.

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