The pitfalls of dating married women
Usually at the beginning of such an arrangement, when the triangle is young so to speak, the ‘other man’ usually tells himself he likes this arrangement because he doesn’t have to make a commitment.
She can go back to her husband when we’re done making love, right? The problem comes when over time an attachment forms between the married woman and her ‘other man.’ Now she is growing used to the arrangement and has convinced herself that the triangle makes her disappointing marriage tolerable.
Instead, defensive stuff happens like distancing from each other or finding another lover to make up for what is not happening in the marriage.
The problem is you can’t get a piece of what you need from one person and another piece from someone else and expect to have a stable and satisfying love life.
If the ‘other man’ gets attached he will inevitably at some point start needing more from the married woman. My heart goes out to him more than any one else in this arrangement because he is usually the one who gets disturbed first and has more to lose.
He may start thinking about asking her to leave her husband. He could be thrown out of the triangle and the married couple could end up fixing their relationship, this could happen.
The reality is he’s looking for love like the rest of us and afraid of what he’ll find.
The ‘other man’ is probably afraid that he won’t be able to ‘handle’ a love relationship with a fully available woman.
Personally, I think most if not all married people know on some level if a spouse is cheating, but that’s just my belief.
Too many pieces for stability what you get instead is fragmentation, conflict, and limited intimacy.
So let’s look at the type of triangle that has one woman and two men in it.
Triangles exist simply because a problem is not being resolved in a marriage.
Two people get married and have marital problems, instead of resolving those problems either by fixing the relationship or ending it, which by the way can be a valid resolution of a problem, a third party is brought into the relationship, and now you have a triangle.